Shame and self destruction
Panic, retreat, shame, repeat.
self d e s t r u c t
harsh and abrupt
sharpness—it stings, it pins,
it pierces the heart.
shame of not knowing better, shame cos I do
shame cos it’s just a mask, not me you’re talking to
shame cos the male gaze distorts my own view
shame from inaction, lack of self-satisfaction
shame cos you know it’s not you,
shame cos what can you do?
shame is in its manifestations,
humiliation lets me hide.
though no mask is opaque enough,
they see it all, especially in the light
shy, embarrassed, don’t look at me
cover me up (inside)
i’m unworthy, treat me as such,
i’m small, i don’t take up much
panic, retreat, shame, repeat,
i’ve pinned it all elsewhere, still, i live with me
i hear—
it’s about the people you surround yourself with,
the affirmations you say,
how you deal with conflict,
how you build, pave your own way
but i’m not sure, i’m still figuring that part out
all i know is that i’m running from myself
and the faster I go the more i miss
mm, that blank, disassociated bliss
no, but the people, the places—my mind is doing the splits
whether i like it or not, i cannot dismiss
i cannot outrun my shadow
it’s a curse of a life and much more disgraceful





How good was that!! Well constructed and so relevant 🫶